On A Lighter Note...

Have you guys heard of WEN, the "revolutionary" Healthy Hair Care System "designed to make it easy for anyone, from [Chaz Dean's] celebrity clients to the mom next door, to enjoy healthier, stronger hair -- with less effort than ever before"? Well, I bought it. I was seduced by Alyssa Milano and her fabulously shiny chestnut locks as she espoused the many benefits of WEN, namely that it would deliver longer-lasting color, added sheen, luster, moisture and strength -- all in one easy step! With a 60-day money back guarantee, I figured, why not? I'll give it a shot. I've always been disappointed with my super-straight, fine, thin, lifeless hair and decided it couldn't hurt to try something new. Who knows? Maybe it'll be as magical as they say it is. Maybe it'll change my life.

Well, I've been using the Sweet Almond Mint Cleansing Conditioner for nearly three weeks now and, while I certainly can't claim that it's changed my life, I'm not ready to give up on it yet either. Traditional shampoos have chemicals, such as sodium laureth sulfate, which allow the shampoo to get all sudsy and bubbly but also end up stripping your hair of its natural oils and moisture. We are then told to use conditioner as a means of moisturizing our locks, but all it really does is smooth down the damage we inflicted in the first place with our shampoos. I've read about the "no-poo" method, which involves cleansing your hair with baking soda and rinsing it with vinegar and while I like the idea of eliminating chemicals from my cleansing routine, I just can't get on board the baking soda and vinegar train. For my bathtub? Yes. My hair? I'm not quite that granola (yet).

The WEN Cleansing Conditioner is far from natural. Yes, the ingredients list includes items such as Wild Cherry Bark extract, Rosemary Leaf extract, and Sweet Almond oil, among others, but you'll also find Butylene Glycol, Behentrimonium Methosulfate, and several other thoroughly unpronounceable ingredients. BUT, it doesn't lather, so maybe it's a step in the right direction.

When I purchased WEN, I knew that I wanted to write a blog about it, so I forced my husband to take photos of my hair, which you will find below. The first photo was taken after my usual shower routine of washing with TRESemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture Shampoo, followed by TRESemme Naturals Radiant Volume Conditioner. Now, as you can see, this routine did not result in my hair looking nourished and moisturized nor radiantly voluminous. Instead, it looks dull, lifeless, stringy, utterly horrendous, etc. The second picture was taken after using the WEN Cleansing Conditioner for one day. While I'd certainly never be mistaken for Alyssa Milano, my hair does, in my humble opinion, look better. Not great...just...better. Shinier. Less clumpy. The third photo is after using WEN for one week and, really, it doesn't look much different than the second photo, but still better than the first.

(I should note that there was no styling involved in any of the photos; after showering, I simply let my hair air dry. Also, they were all taken in the same spot (obviously) at roughly the same time of day, so the lighting is very similar in each shot.)

After three weeks, here are my pros and cons:

PROS:

1. My hair is shinier.
2. My hair is softer.
3. My hair has more body.
4. My hair is easier to manage.

CONS:

1. My shower routine takes longer. Over and over in the infomercial and literature, they mention how easy-to-use and time-saving these products are. Consider that a red flag, that they're trying to convince you, brain wash you even, into thinking you're saving time with this routine. But, really, you're not. It may be one product, but the process involves several steps and, for me at least, it ends up taking more time than the traditional shampoo/conditioner route.
2. It's kinda' pricey. The introductory package costs $29.95 and includes a "one-month supply" (Yeah right! It hasn't even been three weeks and mine is nearly gone!) of the Cleansing Conditioner, the Styling Creme, the Re Moist Intensive Hair Treatment, the Texture Balm, and a comb (which is used for combing the product through your hair in the shower). If you like the products, they will continue sending the same package for a monthly fee of $29.95. I don't know about you, but 30 bucks a month is far more than I've ever spent on hair care. Luckily, you can customize your shipments to meet your needs (and your budget).
3. It may be causing me to break out a little on my jawline and neck/shoulders, but I haven't totally pinpointed WEN as the culprit of this sudden attack.

So, bottom line: I'm not totally sold on it, but I'm not ready to give up on it yet either. Apparently, there is a Cucumber Aloe formula designed for fine/thin hair. For my next shipment, which should be coming in a week or so, I've opted to try that instead of the Sweet Almond Mint. I've also eliminated the other products from my shipment. Changing my shipment to two larger bottles of the Cucumber Aloe Cleansing Conditioner every 90 days brought my monthly charge down to $19.98.

This Thursday, I have an appointment with my stylist. First time in four months that I've had a cut and color. Hmmm...maybe I'll go for a chestnut hue...

Three Things

So, I left my last post with the question, "...how do I achieve this inner balance?" unanswered. Well, the truth is, I don't really know. However, I've been trying a few things over the past week and they do seem to be helping.

First off, I decided that now would be a fantastic time to do another cleanse. No, I'm not talking about some crazy endeavor that involves consuming nothing but water with lemon and cayenne and the occasional bowl of lettuce for a week. Are you kidding? I don't think my children would survive my doing that. I'm talking about the Quantum Wellness Cleanse, which Stephen and I have done a couple times before (briefly documented starting here and again here). Simply put, we are eliminating caffeine, alcohol, and refined sugar from our diet for a course of 21 days. (The cleanse also calls for eliminating animal products, which we don't eat anyway, and gluten, which we decided not to worry about this time.) I figure if I want to clear my head and become more balanced, it certainly couldn't hurt to flush my body of the deliciously toxic substances I abuse it with on a regular basis. I'm just now finishing up Day 3 and my head is killing me, but I know from past experience that I will be feeling really swell in just a couple days and so I power on.

Secondly, I've started making a to-do list. Every day. I know, I know, it sounds like I'm totally contradicting what I said in my last post, but hear me out. Normally, I spend most of my day with a big ball of "shoulds" swirling around in my head: I should wash the dishes; I should clean the cat box; I should get off Facebook; I should get out of the house... If I make a list of, say, five or six things I would like to accomplish in the day, I have effectively removed that swirl from head and laid it out neatly on a piece of paper. Then, with my "shoulds" turned into "will dos," my mind is clear and free to be present for my children, or my husband, or even for the dishes. When a task is completed, it feels good to check it off the list. And if one or two of them don't get accomplished, well, that's life! Those tasks will roll over to the next day's list.

Finally - and this is the one that requires the most practice - I have been trying to passively observe my emotions instead of letting them define me. For instance, the other day, while Evan was at school, Elinor took a long nap and woke up somewhat cranky shortly before we had to leave to pick up her brother. We had a very short amount of time to get her dressed and walk to the school and she was fighting me tooth and nail on every little detail. She didn't want underwear; she wanted a pull-up. She didn't like the shirt I picked; she wanted a sweatshirt. Her shoes felt funny. Her socks were bugging her. She didn't want a pull-up after all, but a bathing suit instead. All the while, time is ticking away and I'm imagining poor little Ev having to wait in the office because his mom wasn't there to pick him up on time. Aaargh! I was frustrated and starting to get angry, ready to snap at any moment. And then I remembered to try observing my emotions instead of giving into them. This is very different than suppressing your emotions, by the way. Suppression of emotions is very unhealthy in my opinion and should be avoided. To observe your emotions is to allow them to arise but to take a step back from them and simply observe their effects. In this moment of extreme frustration with Elinor, I took a step back from my emotions. I observed how my body felt: tense, tight, hot. I focused on my breath. I focused only on my breath. I did not force myself to breathe deeply while my mind continued to go haywire. I simply focused on my breath, the feeling of air entering my nose and filling my lungs, the feeling of my lungs deflating and the air rushing past my lips with an exhale. Slowly, I felt the tension, the tightness, the heat start to subside. Now that I was calm, Elinor was far more responsive to me and, with a little bit of jogging, we were able to pick up her brother on time.

Similarly, I've been using this observation method to help me limit my time on the computer (specifically my compulsive checking of Facebook). I'm standing in the kitchen, staring at a pile of dishes in the sink, readying myself to dive in and scrub. To my right, is my laptop, innocently sitting on the kitchen counter, ever so quietly calling to me, Come on...open me up...you know you want to...It'll be quick, I promise...You wouldn't want to miss something. Normally, I would give in to this urge and most likely end up on the computer much longer than I intended, with a sink full of dirty dishes and a neglected toddler pulling at my pant leg. Now, instead, I take a step back and observe the emotion which, in this case, is a compulsive urge, a desire to escape my present circumstances. This emotion makes me feel fidgety, anxious. Again, focus on the breath, feel the emotion subside, and get on with my life.

So, this is what I've got so far. Any of you out there have some good tips for staying focused on the present?

Striving For Balance

If the main challenge in my 20s was figuring out who I wanted to be, the main struggle in my 30s, thus far, has been taking all of those pieces of myself that I discovered and molding them together into one balanced whole. In order to live my best life and be the person I want to be, I feel that it's necessary for me to:

• Maintain open, loving, authentic communication with my children; really listen to what they have to say.
• Maintain open, loving, authentic communication with my husband; be a supportive life partner for him.
• Do fun things together as a family.
• Do educational things together as a family.
• Go on fun and/or romantic dates with my husband.
• Spend quality time with my girlfriends; be the best friend I can be.
• Spend quality time with my parents and my sisters; make sure they know how much they mean to me.
• Spend a little bit of time each day meditating, or being still.
• Cook healthy meals for my family.
• Exercise regularly.
• Keep a clean house.
• Help Evan with his homework and volunteer at his school.
• Maintain a vegetable garden year-round.
• Become actively involved in the causes that I care about.
• Explore the outdoors, in my backyard and beyond, with my children, with my husband, by myself.
• Work on my writing.
• Work on my drawing.
• Read, a lot, with my children and by myself.
• Travel.
• Go back to school.
• Strive for eight hours of sleep each night.
• Manage our finances.
• Manage our calendar.
• Watch movies.
• Watch TV, just not too much.
• Learn new things.
• Challenge myself.
• Shower, preferably daily.

I'm sure that most people can relate: when it comes to things I want to accomplish in a day, in a week, in my life, the list is seemingly endless. How do I strike a balance here? How do I fulfill the needs of my children, my husband, and myself? How do I keep the house clean, everybody nourished (physically, emotionally, and intellectually), get in a workout (with a shower afterward!), maintain the garden, correspond with my friends, connect with my husband, and still find time to read, write, and meditate (followed by a full-night's sleep)? Of course, this is the proverbial problem: not enough hours in the day.

Some people deal with this problem by constantly burning the candle at both ends which, while no doubt productive, can have detrimental effects for your health. Every once in a while, I'll find myself in a sort of manic phase where I'm getting a lot done (and feeling really great about it), but simultaneously not taking time to myself (for meditation, stillness, sleep) that I so desperately need to remain productive. And so, eventually I burn out. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I often find myself stuck in a rut, not accomplishing much at all because I'm sitting around thinking about what needs to be done (and getting overwhelmed) instead of actually doing it.

Lately, I've been telling myself to live by the mantra: Think less; do more. And yet, as I write this, it occurs to me that perhaps a more useful mantra would be: Think less; be more. Be in the moment, right here, right now. Because, no matter how much I'm doing, if my mind is off running amuck elsewhere, my life will not be balanced. Perhaps the goal shouldn't be to figure out a way to do everything I want to do. Perhaps the goal should be to realize that I don't have to. All I have to do is be fully present in the moment, wherever that moment finds me. I'm beginning to think that the balance I'm striving for isn't a balancing of actual tasks, but a balancing of my spirit, my inner being. Because the rest, I'm thinking, will follow.

So the next question, of course, is how do I achieve this inner balance? Hmmm...I'll get back to you on that later. There's a ridiculously adorable, incredibly special small child at my side, and she is requesting my presence.

Farewell, Project 358

After a lot of ridiculous, self indulgent back-and-forth inside my own head, I have decided to discontinue my participation in Project 358. Even as I write this, I feel bad about my decision: I'm a quitter; I'm a failure. But the fact of the matter is, I'm not enjoying it anymore. It was fun at first, and definitely got me to blog more; but recently I've come to resent the obligation. At times I felt overwhelmed because there were several non-Project-related topics I wanted to write about, but as a mother of two children, I have very limited writing time; and since I didn't want to get too far behind in the blessed Project, I usually ended up focusing on that. Cue feelings of overwhelm and frustration. All of this over a goddamn blog that, what, 15 people read? Kiiiiiiinda' silly, non? Oui!

So, yes. I'm a quitter, but I feel alright about it. Now, I can post photos when I damn well please and write when I feel inspired to do so.

Farewell, Project 358...It was good while it lasted!

Self-Portrait Series - 5 (Project 358: Day 232)

Day 232: Self-Portrait, August 2011

Project 358: Day 231

Day 231: Tracks

Hot Fun In The Summertime (Project 358: Day 230)

The other day, my mom and I decided to make the most of the hot summer weather and take the kids to Bertha Henschel park in East Sacramento. Located on 45th Street between A and B, Bertha Henschel is a real gem. In addition to standard playground equipment, basketball courts, a soccer field, and picnic areas, there is a small fenced-in wading pool for children 7 and younger. On one end of the wading pool is a giant, mushroom-shaped fountain that dispenses a constant stream of water for children to play in. The kids had a blast and my mom and I had a lovely time relaxing in the ample shade watching them play.

Unfortunately, due to dwindling city funding, the pool at Bertha Henschel park may not be open next summer. Volunteers are working hard to raise the $22,000 dollars necessary to save it (yikes!). It would be a real tragedy if this pool were to close. It is obviously well loved by children and parents alike; the place was packed.

If you'd like to help out, all fundraising is being funneled through the non-profit Gifts To Share. Send your tax deductible donation (Tax ID # 94-29285546) to:

Gifts To Share, Inc.

915 I Street, 5th Floor

Sacramento, CA 95814

(Please write "Bertha Henschel" in the memo line.)

Or donate online www.giftstoshare.org by clicking on their "Donate Now" link and then designating Bertha Henschel Pool in the "Program Designation" tab.

Note: all money raised will remain with the park even if the City is unable to fund the pool. The money will then be used for desired park improvements.

I do so hope that we are able to keep the pool open another year. Just look at the fun we had...

Day 230: Pure Delight

Photo by my mom (KP) (Edited by AS)

Photo by KP (Edited by AS)

Project 358: Day 229

Day 229: Maxton James, Storm Trooper

Various Edibles (Project 358: Days 222 - 225)

I'd like to take a moment to introduce you to Purslane, the weed that is slowly but surely taking over my backyard. Thus far, I have not put up a fight, for three main reasons:

1. It's kinda' pretty.
2. I find weeding to be a remarkably unrewarding task: it's never ending! And,
3. Turns out, it's edible! And, apparently, quite nutritious.

Although considered an invasive weed in most parts of North America, Purslane is eaten as a leafy green throughout much of Europe, the middle east, Asia, and Mexico. It can be eaten raw, stir-fried, sauteed, or added to soups and stews. I plan on trying it sometime this week, after two whole summers of telling myself I should. If we like it, I think I'll try cultivating some in a pot. It is a succulent, and a hearty one at that. It should handle the move well, I think. Then I will feel better about allowing my husband to attempt to eliminate the "weed" from the rest of our yard. I can tell that it's starting to stress him out. (And he calls me OCD. Ha!)

Day 222: Edible Weed

And now, what we lovingly call Breakfast Face, a morning favorite these days among the children of the house:

Day 223: Edible Face

Day 224: Fail. No photo. (D'oh!)




And finally, all this junk food (below) can only mean one thing...

Day 225: Edible Junk

CAMPING!!! Details in a future post.

Garden Perks & Pest Control (Project 358: Days 216 - 221)

Day 216: Tofu Scramble

For the breakfast pictured above, I followed this Tofu Scramble recipe from the Happy Herbivore. Within the vegan community, recipes for tofu scrambles abound. This is the first one I've tried and I have to say, I feel no need to look further. Doesn't it look just like scrambled eggs? The taste and texture are very similar as well, making it a great option for vegans craving a hearty breakfast. The link above takes you to HH's basic scramble recipe, to which she encourages you to add whatever you have on hand in the way of veggies, herbs, and legumes. To mine, I added red onion, jalapeno, sun gold tomatoes, and heirloom grape tomatoes, all of which were picked from my garden, save the onions. If I'd had black beans on hand, I'd have thrown those in too. On the side, I had half a sprouted wheat bagel and a small bunch of grapes from my parents' garden. This meal was immensely satisfying and kept my hunger at bay far longer than a bowl of cereal ever could.

Day 217: Apparently, Peppers Require Patience

Pictured above is a Blue Jay Bell Pepper plant. We planted this in our vegetable garden last year and it proved to be very productive. At the time, I remember reading on its tag that the peppers ripen through purple to a deep red color. However, they remained purple for so long that we eventually grew impatient and picked them prior to their turning red. A part of me even doubted the validity of that claim. They're not ever going to turn red, I thought, those silly horticulturalists don't know what they're talking about. So we ate every single one of those Blue Jay bell peppers while they were still purple. And they were good! The walls were on the thin side and they could stand to be a little sweeter, but overall, we were just super stoked to be eating food that we grew ourselves and for that reason alone, they tasted great.

As we planned out our vegetable garden this year, we decided once again to go with the Blue Jays. The plant proved to be as reliable as it was last year, producing fruit long before our other pepper plants. This time, I decided to wait it out. And I'm so glad that I did. Our first beautiful Blue Jay started out a lovely shade of amethyst. As the weeks went on, the color started to fade and eventually turned to yellow, through orange, and into the lovely red shade pictured above. The whole process took over two months! We finally ate it a few days after this photo was taken and boy, was it worth the wait! I'll never be impatient about my peppers again.

Day 218: Natural Pest Control No. 1

Day 219: Vegans Can BBQ Too!

Above: zucchini, red onion, Anaheim chile, and Blue Jay bell pepper (in red!) lightly brushed with BBQ sauce and grilled to perfection (all but the onions were from our garden). Veggies served over a bed of quinoa with vegetarian baked beans and fresh cantaloupe on the side.

Other great options for vegan BBQ: polenta squares, potatoes, marinated tempeh and portobello mushrooms, veggie burgers and veggie dogs, corn on the cob, and seasoned eggplant slices. When it comes to summertime grilling, it's not just the omnis that get to have all the fun.

Day 220: Natural Pest Control No. 2

Day 221: Eggplant Chana Masala

Ingredients:

3 large onions, roughly chopped

4 - 5 garlic cloves, minced

1 - 2 tablespoons olive oil

1 teaspoon curry powder or to taste

1 - 2 teaspoons cumin or to taste

1 large eggplant, peeled and chopped into 1/2" pieces

2 (15-ounce) cans chickpeas, drained

2 (14-ounce) cans peeled tomatoes, drained

1 can vegetarian chili (Health Valley and Amy's make good ones)

1 large handful chopped fresh cilantro (about 1/2 cup)

Instructions:

Saute the onions and garlic with the oil, curry powder, and cumin in a large pot until the onions are soft or translucent, approximately 5 minutes. Add the eggplant, and saute for 5 minutes longer, until lightly browned and softened. Sometimes the eggplant will absorb a lot of oil, so you might need to add more to prevent sticking. Add the chickpeas, tomatoes, and chili. Simmer for 20 to 30 minutes. It will get watery, but then reduce to a thick, stewy chana masala. Add more spices to taste. Stir in the chopped cilantro and serve.

The above recipe is taken from The Kind Diet, written by Alicia Silverstone, which I received as a birthday gift from a dear friend and fellow vegan. I highly recommend the book to anyone interest in dabbling in a vegan diet. Alicia's writing style is friendly and accessible and she manages to present the many reasons to go vegan convincingly without being pushy or preachy. The second half of the book is packed full of incredible recipes, including the Eggplant Chana Masala pictured above. This is the first recipe I've tried from the book and it did not disappoint. Rich, hearty, and satisfying, it is also incredibly easy to make and still tastes great the next day (or several days later - the recipe makes a lot). I served it over a bed of wild rice with a simple herb salad on the side. The only thing that could improve this meal is some warm, buttery naan. Man! Why didn't I think of that?!