Challenge Accepted!

I love me a good, self-imposed challenge. The self-imposed part is key, by the way. I don't like people telling me what to do. Unless I want them to. It's complicated. My point is that I like to set up little challenges for myself simply for the sake of seeing whether or not I can accomplish the goal and to hopefully learn something along the way. In high school, this usually took the form of auditioning for something - the lead in a school play, for example. The idea of auditioning TOTALLY FREAKED ME OUT, and that is precisely why I did it: to prove to myself that I could. (Later, after landing the role, I would regret my decision because having the role actually meant having to talk to people during rehearsals and do horrifying things like improv. Oh my god, I could have DIED. And probably from overheating my brain with all the blood rushing to my face, if that were even possible.)

Later in life, my goal setting took the form of things like running a 5k (did it) or quitting smoking (did that too). And then, in 2006, I became pregnant and my all-consuming goal was to give birth naturally. At the time, I didn't really even think of it as a goal; it was simply the way I was going to do it. But my son took 23 hours to be born and a good 10 to 12 hours of that was really hard work. And there was a period of time during the labor that I felt like I couldn't do it. It was a challenge, in the truest sense of the word. (And one, by the way, that I couldn't have accomplished without my amazing husband/coach and my loving, supportive mother. Both of them were absolutely essential to my achieving this goal, and I am forever grateful to them for that.) It was after giving birth to my son that I really started to fall in love with the self-imposed challenge. MY BODY HAD GIVEN BIRTH. Yes, I know women give birth literally all the time, and many without pain medication. But the fact that it is commonplace doesn't make it any less amazing. I realized that I was much, much stronger than I had previously thought. I experienced the worst pain of my LIFE during the labor of my son, but I made it through. I achieved my goal. And that, my friend, is an amazing feeling.

Setting goals for yourself, and achieving them, boosts your self-esteem and your self-confidence. Setting goals for yourself, and failing, allows you to clarify what is important to you in life and gives you ample fodder for self-reflection. And sometimes a self-imposed challenge can completely change your life, as was the case for me and Stephen when we challenged ourselves with the Quantum Wellness Cleanse (21 days without animal products, caffeine, alcohol, sugar, or gluten) back in January of 2010. We made it through the 21 days and have been vegetarian (with strong vegan tendencies) ever since.

All of this rambling about the benefits of setting goals is just my long-winded and clumsy way of telling y'all about my latest self-imposed challenge: to not buy any new clothing, shoes, or accessories for the whole of 2012. (Actually, it's more like the whole of 2012, minus a couple of weeks. Mid-January, I treated myself to one last shopping spree, purchasing a blazer, a pair a of jeans, a pair of boots, several pair of earrings, and lots of pretty underwear.) Now, this does not mean that I cannot buy any clothing, shoes, or accessories. It simply means that I have to buy used. I chose this challenge for myself partly for environmental reasons; I buy a lot of clothes (and shoes, and accessories) and when I purchase these things new I am vastly increasing my carbon footprint. (Just think of all the raw materials, energy, and water required to create new products (the production of a single pair of jeans requires 2,900 gallons of water!), not to mention the fuel required to ship the product from the manufacturer (usually overseas) to the stores.) But the other reason I chose this challenge is personal; I buy a lot of clothes (and shoes, and accessories), often impulsively, and I wanted to sort of examine the motives behind that. I am now two and a half months into the challenge, and I've already learned all sorts of things!

First of all, I have become painfully aware of just how much of this stuff I was buying. You know that mid-January last hurrah I mentioned above? Well, while this may seem like a rather large purchase to some, for me it was just business as usual. Stephen and I allow ourselves a certain amount of money each month to spend on whatever we want, no spousal consent necessary. Nearly all of my share went to clothing, each and every month. A lot of these purchases were completely impulsive: I'm at Target to buy toilet paper and cat food, but end up walking out the door with bags full of clothing. Or I'm looking through the latest issue of Lucky magazine and I come across a pair of shoes I simply have to have. Oh, looky here, there's a web address! Couple clicks of the mouse and my shoes are on their way! 

Since starting the challenge, I have gone shopping for clothing exactly twice. Shopping for clothes twice over the course of two and a half months may be normal for some, but trust me, it's not normal for me. In the month of December alone, I made clothing/shoe/accessory purchases on seven different occasions. I am not kidding. I buy so much clothing that twice a year - in July and December - I go through my closets, figure out what I don't want anymore, and give it away. A couple of my friends have mentioned to me that some of my hand-me-downs have become their fashion staples. If I am able to give away piles of perfectly good clothing twice a year, I am buying too much.

I suppose the main reason I'm shopping less these days is because shopping for used clothes is a lot more time consuming than shopping for new. First of all, it involves going someplace I don't already normally go. Whereas before I could shop for clothing, toiletries, housewares, cleaning products, pet supplies and (some) groceries all in one place, now if I want to buy clothing, I've got to make the time for a separate outing. Secondly, buying second-hand requires a willingness to dig through the crap to find the real gems. These stores don't have racks full of one type of shirt in a rainbow of colors and sizes; it's really a mixed bag, and sometimes you'll score and sometimes you'll go home completely empty-handed. Sound like way more trouble than it's worth? Au contraire, mon frere! ("Don't you even go there; me without a rhyme is like a beat without a snare." Quick! Name that tune!) So far, I've found several positive side-effects of shopping second-hand...

1. It's freeing! Before starting this challenge, I was worried that it was going to be really hard, and that passing the clothing racks at Target or flipping through a fashion magazine would be absolute torture. But I've actually experienced the exact opposite. No more getting bummed out because I don't have enough money to buy all the items I want. No more buying huge piles of clothing while shopping with the kids only to try it on at home and realize I need to return half of it. No more wasting time shopping online every time a company sends me an email about a sale they're having. I'm not buying new clothes this year. Period. So what's the point in even worrying about it? I am a slave to fashion no more! And it feels good.
2. It's fun! Sure, I used to get pleasure out of buying new things (why else would I do it?), but when it comes to shopping, nothing beats the feeling of scoring a cool vintage top (that nobody else will be wearing!) or finding the perfect pair of designer jeans and then discovering with pure delight that they only cost $18, and have probably already been hemmed. Honestly, I may never buy new jeans again. Shopping is no longer simply a means to an end. Now, it is an adventure and an exercise in creativity. I feel like I am finally having fun with fashion again. And it's about time!
3. It's affordable! Even if I eschewed thrift shops like the Goodwill and were only to shop at the pricier second-hand stores, I would still save a bundle compared to what I'd have paid for new.
4. It doesn't make me feel guilty. After switching to a plant-based diet, I struggled for quite a while with my desire to purchase clothing and shoes made from animal products. I knew I was being hypocritical by choosing not to eat meat for ethical reasons while still allowing myself to purchase goods made from leather and wool. About six months ago, I decided I would do it no more. But now that I'm buying used, I feel like I can buy such things without feeling guilty about it. I know there are a lot of vegans who would disagree with me here, but as long as I am not directly supporting the industry, I feel my conscience is clear.

As a way of bringing this ridiculously long-winded post to a close (Are you still there? Are you still awake?), I thought I'd share with you the purchases I've made thus far. (If this is at all interesting to you, please let me know, and I'll continue to post pics of the treasures I find.)

Red Sweater, Italian Merino Wool, Banana Republic. Purchased at Article Consignment Boutique, $19.60. Would look super cute with cuffed boyfriend jeans, a black shrunken blazer, delicate gold pendant necklaces, and leopard-print flats.

Aztec Print Dolman-Sleeve Lightweight Sweater, brand unknown, fabric content unknown. Purchased at Article Consignment Boutique, price unknown (I lost the tag). I like to wear this with black skinny jeans, black pumps, and big dangly earrings.

Red & Navy Blue Geometric Print Vintage Top, fabric content unknown (most likely polyester), Hornell's. Purchased at Article Consignment Boutique, $24.00. I recently wore this with some fairly high-waisted dark blue trouser jeans, grey suede peep-toe stiletto booties, a statement necklace, and a wrist full of navy and floral print bangles.

Suuuuper Wide-Leg Jeans, cotton denim, Free People. Purchased at FreeStyle Clothing Exchange, $13.00. I recently wore these with a super soft grey boyfriend tee, a shrunken black blazer, black and brown suede heels form the Missoni for Target line, and chunky black and gold jewelry. But, they're jeans. The possibilities are endless.

Hippie Shirt, 100% Cotton, Odille. Purchased at FreeStyle Clothing Exchange, $8.00. Wear this with your favorite pair of jeans and some flip flops for a super* comfy laid back California look.

*Note to self: you use the word 'super' too much. Work on that.

Eco Tip Tuesday*: Watch Your Water Usage!

In honor of World Water Day, here are some tips to help you conserve water:

1. When loading your dishwasher, skip the pre-rinse. Just scrape off what you can and let the machine do the actual cleaning.
2. Run fewer, fuller loads when using both the dishwasher and the washing machine.
3. To extend the lifespan of your sheets between washings, try swapping out the pillow cases more often than the rest of the set.
4. Boycott bottled water. Not only does the plastic end up in our oceans and landfills for all eternity, three liters of regular water go into making just one liter of bottled water!
5. Save pasta water. Drain pasta over a bowl instead of your kitchen sink. The water can be used in the sauce or as a base for soup.
6. Don't dump kettle water. Only heat what you are planning to use.
7. Harvest the rain. Put a rain barrel below your gutter downspout and you'll be amazed by how much water it captures. You can use the bounty to water your garden.
8. Choose native plants. Water used on lawns and gardens accounts for up to 40 percent of total household use. Select species that are indigenous to your area, and they'll have a much better chance of thriving with what Mother Nature provides.
9. Start scheduling your sprinkler. If you live in a very hot and dry climate, water in the evening. If you live in a moist area, do it in the morning to avoid mildew problems. No matter where you live, you should never water midday; you'll lose too much to evaporation.
10. Rethink your lawn. Lawns require huge amounts of water to stay healthy and green, particularly if you live in a dry climate. Consider replacing yours with gravel and native plants. This site has great tips for creating your own xeriscape.
11. Instead of using a hose to clean your porch, driveway, or sidewalk, use a broom. (You'll burn more calories that way too!)
12. Fix your toilet. If you have one that is constantly running, you could be wasting up to 200 gallons every day.
13. If you opt to buy a new toilet, only consider models that have been given the Water-Sense label. It certifies that the toilet uses 20 percent less water.
14. If it's yellow, let it mellow. By making it a house rule not to flush every time, a family of four could save 9 to 11 flushes -- that's 45 to 55 gallons a day!** But please, for the sake of our senses, if it's brown, flush it down.
15. Reduce your junk mail. About 28 billion gallons of water are used to produce all of that unwanted paper. Check out the Paper Karma smart phone app to help you get started.
16. Hang on to your jeans. Denim jeans are one of the biggest wardrobe water-hogs, requiring 2,900 gallons of water to produce a single pair! Whenever possible, mend them yourself, or have them mended by a local tailor. And when you want a new pair, consider buying used.
17. My personal favorite water-saving tip (and by far the most effective): Go meatless more often. It takes 1,857 gallons of water to produce a single pound of beef. A pound of chicken requires 469 gallons, and a pound of butter requires a whopping 2,044 gallons of water! In contrast, a pound of lettuce requires 15 gallons; a pound of potatoes requires 33; a pound of beans requires 43; a pound of tofu requires 244.

Bonus tip! My personal second-favorite way to conserve water: rarely bathe your children. Ha! :)

(All statistics taken from an article titled 50 Ways to Conserve Water, written by Virginia Sole-Smith for the April 2012 issue of Whole Living magazine.)


*I refuse to change the title, despite the fact that less than half of my related posts have actually been published on a Tuesday.
**Post-publication, a little birdy informed me that, while this particular statistic assumes a 5-gallon per flush toilet, nearly all toilets these days use significantly fewer gallons per flush. She also suggested that, if your toilet is that inefficient, you can lower the flush quantity by adjusting the fill valve or placing a full water bottle in the tank. Thanks, little birdy! Tweet tweet!

Sunday Morning Ponderables

On this particular Sunday, Alison is pondering a nap.

Eco Tip Tuesday*: To Bee or Not To Bee?

There is no question.

Photo by Kerilyn Creeger

The honey bee is a vital component to life as we know it here on Earth. Without her, we would be forced to live without strawberries, almonds, avocados, cucumbers, apples, oranges, watermelon, sunflowers, and countless other fruits, vegetables, nuts, and field crops that depend on the honey bee for fertilization. It's hard to fathom, but unless we make some serious changes to our agricultural system, and soon, we may find ourselves eating a diet severely lacking in color.

Back in October of 2006, several commercial beekeepers began reporting losses of 30-90% of their hives. While a small amount of colony loss is to be expected over the winter months, the losses of 2006 were remarkable because of their sheer magnitude. The phenomenon was termed Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) and, by 2008, it was estimated that nearly one-third of all honey bee colonies in the country had vanished. And, by 'vanished', I mean vanished. One day, a seemingly healthy hive full of busy bees; the next, no one left but the queen and a few of her unborn babies. And the weirdest thing of all: no dead bees in sight. They just took off. But why?

Researchers haven't yet been able to pinpoint the cause of CCD. It's becoming clear, however, that there are likely several factors at play, many of which stem from our current agricultural practices.

Some time ago, farms in America were small and diversified: a typical farm may have had a cow or two, maybe a few pigs, some chickens, a vegetable garden, some fruit trees. But agriculture in America today is dominated by monoculture, the practice of producing or growing one single crop (or raising one type of animal) over a wide area. Not only is monoculture extremely harsh on the soil, the practice makes crops far more susceptible to pests and diseases. So, with the rise of monoculture came the rise of wide-spread pesticide use.

We started spraying our food, that we intended to eat, with toxic chemicals (some of which were previously used in warfare!) in order to keep the bugs and diseases at bay. Then someone had the brilliant idea to genetically modify corn and soybean seeds so that the pesticides are actually inside the plants that grow from them, and expressed through the leaves, nectar, or fruit. (Which means we can't even wash the chemicals off our food, YAY! Gee thanks, Monsanto!) These chemicals were tested (by the people making and selling them, by the way) and the levels expressed in the plants are not high enough to kill a bee, but what the scientists failed to research (because they weren't required to) were the sub-lethal effects of these chemicals on bees. It's highly possible that, even if they aren't outright killing the bees, the pesticides could be causing neurological problems, such as disorientation or memory loss, or damage to their nervous system. Furthermore, what are the long-term effects of bees ingesting these chemicals over and over and over, and feeding them to their young?

Beekeepers in France experienced similar colony loss after they began using Monsanto's genetically modified seeds nearly ten years before CCD was discovered in North America. Following the precautionary principle**, the seeds were banned from use in France in February of 2008. Reportedly, the bees bounced back within a year. But the United States government doesn't follow the precautionary principle. Instead, we like to throw any and all chemicals into wide-spread use until something horrible happens that scientists are able to prove is a result of said chemicals. Since scientists haven't been able to scientifically prove that CCD is, in part, caused by Monsanto's seeds, the product remains on the market (and on our grocery store shelves).

The idea of a world lacking in the wide array of fruits, vegetables, and nuts that we've become accustomed to is a scary one, but that is not the main reason that CCD should concern us. The thing we should be most concerned about is the fact that the declining health of the honey bee is an indicator that something terribly wrong is happening to the environment right now. If we don't make changes soon, a lack of fresh fruit and veggies will be the least of our concerns.

So what can we do?

• First off, buy organic whenever possible. Michael Pollan, author of The Omnivore's Dilemma, points out often that one of the most powerful ways we can effect change is by voting with our forks. We get three chances a day (or more, if you're a grazer like me) to let it be known that we don't agree with the state of modern agriculture. Money talks, so make sure your money is saying something you agree with. Feel like organic produce is too pricey for your budget?
• Try shopping at your local farmer's market. The farms that sell goods at open air markets are typically much smaller than the farms from whom large grocery stores buy their produce. The prices are usually quite low, and the produce is the freshest you can get, outside of your own garden. Which brings me to my next tip:
• Plant a garden! You can totally do it! It's a relaxing outdoor activity, doesn't have to cost much, and ensures that you are feeding your family healthy, fresh, delicious food. In addition to fruits and vegetables, plant some flowers. It will add beauty and color to your garden as well as provide essential nutrition for bees. When buying seeds or seedlings, be sure to buy organic, and...
• DON'T use chemical pesticides in your home or garden. Spraying our lawns and gardens with toxic chemicals is simply not necessary and by choosing not to, you are not only helping the planet and the bees, you are making your home a healthier place for your family. There are natural solutions for keeping pests at bay that are very effective and typically cost less than chemical pesticides. Spiders and beneficial insects such as ladybugs and praying mantises can also help a garden to flourish. Visit Earth Easy for more information on natural home and garden pest control.
• Consider becoming an amateur beekeeper. Getting started requires a little bit of equipment, which you can buy or build yourself, and the practice generally requires about an hour of your time each week through the spring, summer, and fall, and almost nothing during the winter months. Bees are fascinating to watch and their presence can help your garden thrive. And don't forget the honey! Although results may vary, one hive can yield between 20 to 50 pounds of the sweet nectar. If you choose to keep bees, please adhere to organic, biodynamic, and holistic beekeeping practices. Visit Beekeeping Naturally for helpful advice from Organic Beekeeper Michael Bush.
• When buying honey, be sure it's organic. And if it's local, all the better! Not only is mass-produced commercial honey typically obtained in ways that are harmful to bees and the environment, these days you can't even be sure that what you are buying is actually honey! Much of what you see on store shelves has been imported from China and is not pure honey but a mix of honey and other ingredients such as high fructose corn syrup. Yuck! Sacramento Beekeeping Supplies sells local honey and, believe you me, it is deeeelish!

For more information on CCD and ways that you can help, check out the excellent documentary The Vanishing of the Bees, now available on Netflix (streaming and DVD) and for purchase from their website.

In closing, I have a final request: please don't be afraid of bees. When they sting you, they die.*** Which means that they're only going to do it as a last resort. Leave them alone, and chances are they'll do the same for you. Do what you can to help them out, but other than that, just let them bee. :)

Thanks for reading, folks! 

*Does it count that I started this post on Tuesday?

**The Precautionary Principle states that if an action or policy has a suspected risk of causing harm to the public or to the environment, in the absence of scientific consensus that the action or policy is harmful, the burden of proof that it is not harmful falls on those taking the action. The principle implies that there is a social responsibility to protect the public from exposure to harm, when scientific investigation has found a plausible risk. These protections can be relaxed only if further scientific findings emerge that provide sound evidence that no harm will result. [Source]

***Hornets and wasps, on the other hand, can sting you multiple times without dying because their stingers are not barbed and are thus not pulled from their bodies.

Sunday Morning Ponderables

The Tree Of Wisdom
(A Yoruba tale from Nigeria)


Tortoise stood beneath a Tree and thought about wisdom. He knew that gold held great value in the eyes of many. "But wisdom," he thought, "is worth more than anything else in the world."

Taking up a hollow calabash, a large bottle gourd, he tied it around his neck and went in search of wisdom. When passersby dropped morsels of wisdom during their conversations along the road, he picked them up and put them into his gourd. When the wisdom contained in the seeds of grain or in the nuts of trees fell to the ground or when a fluffy seed blew in on the breeze, Tortoise was there to snatch it up. If a bird's wisdom fluttered down from the sky in one of its feathers, Tortoise grabbed it with his beak and put it into the gourd. After many days of gathering and gleaning wisdom, the gourd was full.

As he gazed into his gourd, Tortoise thought, "Surely I am now the wisest of all. No one has ever gathered so much wisdom. This must be all there is in the world."

But now Tortoise was worried that someone might find his wisdom and steal it.

"I will put it up into this ancient baobab tree," he thought, looking at its wide spread of branches. "No one will ever find it there."

Tortoise hung the gourd full of wisdom around his neck and tried to climb the tree, but the gourd hung down by his belly and got in the way. He tried hanging it from one front leg and then the other front leg, but each time the weight of the gourd pulled him down and he fell off the tree. He tried tying it to his puny tail, but the rope kept slipping off. Then he tried holding it in his mouth, but he was so used to saying his thoughts out loud that he found he couldn't think clearly when his mouth was full.

Finally, he heard a small voice coming from the bush. "Hello, Tortoise."

"Where are you?" asked Tortoise, looking around.

"I'm down here."

"Oh, it's you, Snail," said Tortoise.

"That's no way to carry a gourd up a tree," said Snail.

"Well, then . . . how would you do it?" asked Tortoise curtly.

"Granted, I do not possess the wealth of wisdom that you do," admitted Snail, "but you might want to try tying the gourd onto the middle of your back, so the weight will be even and your limbs free to climb up the bark."

Tortoise stared at Snail and said nothing for a very long time. "Well," he snipped, "thank you for the words of wisdom."

Snail helped Tortoise to tie the gourd onto his back and watched as Tortoise made his way slowly up the tree and out onto one of its upper branches.

When Tortoise had caught his breath, he felt satisfied at holding all the wisdom in the world inside his gourd, which was now safely hidden in the tree. But then another thought began to eat at him.

"If I hold all the wisdom in the world inside this gourd," he thought, "then why is it that I needed advice from Snail to get the gourd up into this tree?"

At that moment, Tortoise realized that no matter how much wisdom he gathered, there would always be more to learn. So he untied the gourd from his back, dropped it from up in the tree, and watched as it smashed on the ground, planting some of its wisdom in the soil and scattering the rest to the winds.

Artwork by Evan

Eco Tip Tuesday*: Paper Karma (Quite Possibly the Coolest App Ever)

Three years ago, when we were living in a different house, I went to great lengths to rid our lives of unnecessary paper waste in the form of junk mail. I used Catalog Choice to get rid of unwanted catalogs; I used optoutprescreen.com to eliminate credit card offers; I went to yellowpagesoptout.com to cease the delivery of phone directories to our home; and, quite often, I found myself directly contacting companies myself, either by phone or snail mail, to remove our address from their mailing lists. Overall, it was a lot of work, but well worth it. I can't tell you how nice it was to go to my mailbox each day and not find it overflowing with paper destined for the recycling bin.

And then we moved. And all the work I put in vanished completely, as we found ourselves back on the mailing lists of all the same companies (and many, many more).

Just the other day, I was sorting through the mail, getting aggravated by how useless most of it was, and feeling guilty that I hadn't done anything about it in the nearly three years we'd been living in this house. I resolved then and there to stop being lazy and get back to work. After all, we plan on living in this house indefinitely; a little hard work now will be worth it in the long run.

And then life threw me a sweet little nugget in the form of a Facebook post from a friend, introducing me to what is now on my list of Top Five Favorite Smart Phone Apps EVER: Paper Karma. Paper Karma is a new application (and currently FREE!) designed to help people eliminate unwanted junk mail from their lives. And the process couldn't be simpler:

1. Download application.
2. Await arrival of unwanted junk mail.
3. Open application and use it to photograph said junk mail.
4. Hit 'send.'
5. Do whatever the fuck you want while the Paper Karma robots take care of the rest!

I've been using Paper Karma for about a week now and have submitted six requests. So far, two of my requests have been successful, three are pending, and one failed. The failure was due to the fact that PK was unable to determine the company name from the photo I sent. (For photo tips and more information about how Paper Karma works, go here.)

So cool, right?! If you've got a smart phone, get the app (and do it now, while it's still FREE!). This is such an easy way to reduce your paper waste, help the environment, and eliminate unnecessary clutter from your life. Sometimes, technology is awesome. Embrace it!

*I realize it's not Tuesday.

Sunday Morning Ponderables

me against the world


when I was a kid
one of the questions asked was,
would you rather eat a bucket of shit
or drink a bucket of piss?
I thought that was easy.
"that's easy," I said, "I'll take the
piss."
"maybe we'll make you do both,"
they told me.
I was the new kid in the
neighborhood.
"oh yeah," I said.
"yeah!" they said.
there were 4 of them.
"yeah," I said, "you and whose
army?"
"we won't need no army," the
biggest one said.
I slammed my fist into his
stomach.
then all 5 of us were down on
the ground fighting.
they got in each other's way
but there were still too many
of them.
I broke free and started
running.
"sissy! sissy!" they yelled.
"going home to mama?"
I kept running.
they were right.
I ran all the way to my house,
up the driveway and onto the
porch and into the
house
where my father was beating
up my mother.
she was screaming.
things were broken on the floor.
I charged my father and started swinging.
I reached up but he was too tall,
all I could hit were his
legs.
then there was a flash of red and
purple and green
and I was on the floor.
"you little prick!" my father said,
"you stay out of this!"
"don't you hit my boy!" my mother
screamed.
but I felt good because my father
was no longer hitting my
mother.
to make sure, I got up and charged
him again, swinging.
there was another flash of colors
and I was on the floor
again.
when I got up again
my father was sitting in one chair
and my mother was sitting in
another chair
and they both just sat there
looking at me.
I walked down the hall and into
my bedroom and sat on the
bed.
I listened to make sure there
weren't any more sounds of
beating and screaming
out there.
there weren't.
then I didn't know what to
do.
it wasn't any good outside
and it wasn't any good
inside.
so I just sat there.
then I saw a spider making a web
across a window.
I found a match, walked over,
lit it and burned the spider to
death.
then I felt better.
much better.

~ Charles Bukowski (from Urbanus)

*   *   *

I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent. 

~ Mahatma Gandhi